I know it doesn't feel that happy, and I'm sorry for that.
You are where I was not too long ago. Everything your H says reminds you that he doesn't live there anymore, and things aren't the way you want them to be, and it hurts.
I used to hate it when my H would refer to the house as "your" house.
I don't know your H, but I am guessing he doesn't mean any harm by it. I think that my H calls it my house because either (a) he likes it, it makes him feel separated from me; or (b) he is trying to be respectful in his own strange way. I don't think he is purposely hurting my feelings.
Is there any text your H could have sent you that would be acceptable to you? I'm guessing not. My H didn't say happy birthday to me all day. I felt like sh!t all day. Then he came over with the kids and they had baked me a cake in the shape of and decorated like a baseball park (I love baseball), and a thoughtful gift from the kids. Guess what? I still felt like sh!t.
The truth is, it all svcks because it's not what you want. But why allow yourself to get worked up and upset each time he says or does something that reminds you that you are S? None of it changes your reality. You already know you are S. So when you find yourself getting upset, ask yourself: "is this a change?" For me, most of the time, the answer is no.
3boyz posted this morning on Scorp's thread about living with your reality. Pop over and check it out if you haven't seen it already. I know it's not that fun to read, or to do, but it will help.
Hope you are recuperated soon, and you get that sushi!
(((artsy)))
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
Got this text from H: "happy birthday...sorry it's only in the form of a text message".
What? I think I would have rather he forget about it. Then at least there wouldn't be a weird text. I have not responded yet- not sure what to say (besides just 'thank you')
He remembered, and he sent you birthday wishes. He scores 2 for 2 there. And yes, a simple thank you would be appropriate. I know it's not the way you would want to celebrate your birthday in ideal circumstances, but again, he remembered, and he took action.
However, I think you are giving him too much credit. Re:calling it "my" house- he started doing it a few years ago whenever he was angry at me, then he did it as a joke whenever he wanted to tease me. He knows exactly what he's doing, and I literally asked him, last week, to stop doing it again. He's not stupid, so he clearly has a reason for it and is disregarding me in the process.
And he loses 2points for the birthday text. I didn't expect or want him to buy me anything, but a phone call would have been perfect. Birthdays are really important to me (everyone's birthday-not just mine. It's YOUR day to feel special. He always comments on how I can do that for people and admired how thoughtful I was on someone's birthday). I had several people do that for me yesterday, and he was not one of them.
He was cold and distant taking me to my surgery, and that was reinforced by his birthday text.
Today is a new day. No more talk about yesterday!!!! I shall start a new thread (once I figure out how to link this one...)
Me: 39 H: 45 Second marriage for both H left 12/2013 M:4 T:5.5
I shall start a new thread (once I figure out how to link this one...)