own buz 23:mediation to reconcilliation, PATIENCE!

[makingmagic]

Hi Job...Yes, I can see the possibility of mass confusion. However, I value everyone's opinion.

I have spend alot of time reviewing your advice from back to July. Reviewing some of my comments, I have noticed some growth that I am proud/happy about. Your comments advice are:

~ getting my legals in order,
~ do not mindread,
~ don't engage in arguments,
~ leave him alone, give space, & do not engage in R talks
~ watch expectations
~ show him independance (don't need his attention to be happy)

I am "trying" to "rely" on what "I think" is best for my situation. (part of my action steps)

At this point I feel that since he is entertaining OW, that I shouldn't take his scraps of time/convo's/coffee, etc....2 days ago, he implied he wanted to share the wine a client gave me (I didn't get baited and jump on that offering and ask him to come share it with me), he reached to hold my hand over a snow bank, we shopped briefly for snow boots for me, coffee, and short R talk.

I do see the positives.

But am I wrong for protecting myself and also wanting to see him do the work?? Ensuring that HE really wants it.. not just me? That I need to value myself & raise the bar. That as posted on my action steps for valuation ~ do not submit into less than what I deserve (I deserve his full attention...if he is open to R). I also fear that If I push away his positive forthcomings, he will feel I am not interested.

You are giving me far too much credit when you suggest that I know what I am doing and how to handle my situation.

I really think that listening to others POV might help me to determine which is the better route to go on this. To see in print the positives and negatives.

I am curious to what Bond suggests ... his approach seems to be different than some others, as he sees some positives. He said he had some suggestions, but hasn't shared yet.