Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

I also know now that if I wanted to end the M I could do it today and be ok with it.(maybe)

To Me it is just like smoking or drinking.


I always told my W I could quit in a day so if she quit and asked me to quit also I would. This was a precursor of us having kids that we both quit smoking.

She quit but had a difficult time doing so but did not ask me to quit. I kept smoking for about 4 months and then quit cold turkey because I decided in 10 seconds I didn't want to smoke anymore and I should support my W.


Same thing with drinking, My W never asked me to stop just said "the drinking doesn't help stuff sometimes".

Again, But after the S, I said no more and haven't drank in 8 months.

It really makes her mad that I could do this at the drop of a hat. I did both things for the W and M.

I get the too little too late aspect of it but it is somewhat comical how upset the W gets when she brings up the no drinking and other changes she sees.

She must have told a bunch of mutual friends that there no way he could keep these things up and he will falter and revert back. So far I haven't, hopefully I wont, I believe in myself and that is what counts most.

I am choosing to stand for my M I love my wife dearly but could leave tomorrow if I so choose. I just feel that a renewed M with my W is still worth fighting for. I just want to do it correctly this next time.

I apologize for being all over the map some days and cant say that I will not backslide on here sometimes.

I believe in DB and, even though I sometime whine and cry here, think it has kept me and W from completely abandoning ship.