There are mandatory financial disclosures on both sides, not due for another month. I see no point in hurrying him along with that. (And no, I will have no part in getting any info from him.)
Our VA trip is next weekend (H is going out of town this weekend), but I can still throw it in there.
So I should not give him any indication that his proposal sucked? I guess there is no point. I was starting to care that it would be frustrating for him that I said sure, send me something, and then I shut him down by sending it to my lawyer. But then i remembered that he is offering up the exact same proposal that he sent before I had a lawyer, and before he acknowledged (after speaking with his lawyer) that he had some understanding of the value of his partnership interest and how maintenance works.
Is he for real?
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
M, I agree with underdog and wonka. Danger Will Robinson...Give it to the L to deal with the financials. Doesn't have to turn ugly. Its just business. I know, I am at this stage too. I know I get afraid about the future sometimes. I think what the court allows for Child support- ha! its ridiculous. Thus far h, and I are pretty amicable and I try and stay present. I have gone back to school to get a job so I can maybe at best make a fifth of what h does. hang in there.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
But then i remembered that he is offering up the exact same proposal that he sent before I had a lawyer, and before he acknowledged (after speaking with his lawyer) that he had some understanding of the value of his partnership interest and how maintenance works.
Is he for real?
Maybe your H did not amend it because he thinks that he is going to smooth things over during your meeting and you will consent to him giving up his partnership interest? Remember, he is living in his little fantasy world at the moment.
So I should not give him any indication that his proposal sucked?
Let's just agree that all of our snarky responses include a detailed list of how much they svcked. I have 5 ready to fly right off my tongue. But they will not get you closer to your goal!
Quote:
Is he for real?
I'm afraid so. For some reason, I get the feeling that your H truly believes that he's going to get exactly what he wants at the price he wants. It's delusional. Which is why you have a L.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I agree with 3. I guess we can't be sure, but yes have the lawyers go over it. His emails are almost comical at this point.
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
I'm (not so) secretly itching to hear his response.
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
I probably would have said something about how "since the original proposal numbers were far off what your recently hired L believes to be fair, (esp since the partnership interest was not factored in...) but sure, you'll send it on over to your L for their any additional feedback."
and then get back to GAL, etc.
No way would I meet him alone at this point, with that topic in mind.
As for the apologies, I have to confess something.
Whenever I apologize to my h for a comment or action I did or forgot to do,
he almost always then launches into a litany of OTHER times I said/did something else he does not like...and he can go on for awhile. Or he repeats why and how I was wrong or suggests it means a character flaw in me, never just says "thanks" and drops it. Like the apology was me opening a door for him to list all my flaws.
Lately I've mentioned this to him as an "old h" trait, which I find undesirable and which makes me NOT want to apologize to him, ever.
Really He does not know how to accept an apology gracefully.
Hmm, I will work on modeling that for him I guess.
I mention this^^ on the off chance anyone seeing it, also sees themselves b/c as important as it is for someone in the wrong to apologize,
there's a lot to be said for accepting that apology and then, moving ON...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I really wish we could see a picture of your convertable, I want to live vicariously! I can see why your H is successful, he is very tenacious about meeting up with you.
M45 H46 M16 yrs D17, D10, D7 DB 1-23-2014 H filed D 2-14-2014
