Newbie needs help:husband left Saturday

[dxw689]

Thanks TL72: It means a lot to see your post, since I do not get so many responses from others lately. I think this too - quote by you: "It just all happened so fast yet the time goes by so slow." My emotions cycle frequently: I do a lot of reading here and from other books, practice exercises in gratitude, getting a life, etc: But even all of that can be pretty tiring and I still feel pretty obsessive about the sitch. I suppose things are gradually getting better for me. I still struggle with some self-blame: I was really going through my own difficulties with my attitude regarding my career in the last years, which could make me pretty irritable. I think I had a tendency to put off blame onto my husband without meaning to - but I also think there was a big sexual component to this, which I think he did not communicate to me and so I did not take seriously enough. And so I think I have to learn to forgive myself: There were a lot of things I was trying to work on already- both regarding the marriage and not - even if I did not succeed, I realize I really was trying: (meditation, reading, yoga...) - now I am trying even more and harder. That is one thing I was thinking about yesterday: even before this happened with husband, I was already on a self-improvement, GAL-kind of tear. So acting on all of this advice can feel a bit like, OK, how much more do I have to do - all the time - but it is really about acceptance. Acceptance of the situation now and acceptance of yourself. And acceptance that you cannot change your spouse's mind OR DIRECT THE FUTURE. But you can affect your own attitude in the now and that can change your future for the better - you just don't get to be the director of how.