Sad times

[Scorp7]

MamaB, I can totally relate to your feeling like you're on an emotional roller coaster. My WAW left me nearly 5 months ago and took our three young kids when she left and I am still on a roller coaster daily, sometimes hourly. Doing things as simple as going to the grocery store are painful. I had been doing all the shopping for our family before my W took then away. Now I'm only shopping for myself the majority of the time.

I'm learning to let go of the past as well as my idealized view of the future and just concentrate on right now. Right now I may be faced with fighting for equal time with my kids and taking care of myself. That's about all I can do and I expect it's pretty common for the LBS. I'm making myself the best person I can be, someone any spouse would be crazy to leave. No matter what happens, I'll be a better Dad and a better person.

I agree, your H's POV is very real to him, no matter how crazy it might seem to you. I have spent far too much time trying to figure out why my W is continuing to do what she's doing and I may never totally understand her POV. It perhaps seems counter intuitive but working on yourself and changing the ways you interact with you H have a lot better chance of changing his POV than the seemingly direct approach of trying to change his mind, lecturing him that his decisions are wrong etc.