Working on Divorce Busting every Day!

[labug]

Went to his well visit and he lost a 1 lb.:( Not good. I asked the doctor if he felt the stress of the separation was hard on him. He said it would not bother him at all. I believe babies can feel stress and I do know in the future he will wonder why his dad who always wanted a son decided to leave his family when he was only 3 months old. That is on my H and not me.

Yes, true, painful, difficult. Read the article again, you need to be a rock and you can do that. Your job for your babies is to create a R with your H in which you can provide what's best for the kids.

Make an appt with a lactation consultant to help you with the weight issue.

I truly feel that no matter how much time he now spends with them he left his family. We are not the same nuclear unit that we once were. I can't worry about the repercussions to my H.
To show how he does not understand this he actually put in his shared parenting plan that he deserves more time because I come up to nurse every day and get to see the children on my off days, and thats just not fair. Ummm -Kay If he had boobs he could nurse too.LOL And I'm not going to be nursing forever but it is only fair I give my youngest the same as the other two. This article will also give me leverage in not allowing him to take them on a week long vacation away from me this year. I wanted him to wait till next year. The 2 year old is already having a horrible time every time I leave, along with following me from room to room. He states she is fine as soon as I leave (as long as he bribes her with candy). The 6 year old has never been away from me more than 2 days.

Yes, he's clueless but that's the marriage you had. We really can't fault him for the role he played anymore than we can for the role you played. I take men to task when they come to this board with "My wife doesn't work, she just stays home with the kids and I pay for everything. She needs to get a job."

Had the 2 or you discussed his inability to give more time to the family?

Again I feel that yes he can and did leave but there are consequences to your decisions. Just because you choose to end a marriage does not mean that you get everything you want and everyone is suddenly happy.

This is true but consequences aren't your job. Get a journal and whenever you feel that anger coming up, write it all out, everything you'd like to say, the names you would like to call him. Write, write, write.

I know you're very busy with kids but can you fit in some meditation or yoga. Even meditating for 10 minutes every day can help reduce your stress. Exercise is also important.

To be honest if he came to be today and said lets get back together I woulden't do it. Is it crazy to hope that this goes on for a year and then we work on reconciling. I am learning so much about myself and GAL and how to be the wife I should have been and the woman I want to be. Not to hurt my kids but I know myself and I think at this point if we got back together we would just be in the same situation a few years down the road. Not that R is on the table at all. He finally told his closest friends we are getting divorced. I had already told my friends but he didn't want anyone to know.

This is all excellent.

I still am DBing and praying that the final divorce does not go through but I am learning so much about myself in the process.

Just a thought, how about asking for what is best for you and your children.

This is going to be very difficult but you have it in you to do this.

Focus on you because if you can take care of you, the kids will be fine.