Me 15 months on - standing - detaching

[hotwheelsaust]

Sorry to hear about your grandmother, Wonka. It is never nice at that age to be in a fall.
Wonka, appreciate those kind words you wrote. I suppose I could be mindreading about the family/friends with regards to the OW, but it didn't really seem an awkward moment for them. They were very happy to talk to her/with her either as a group or singular.
The W's parents went out to the Dolly Parton concert the night before with the W and OW. It really is like she is part of the family. Doesn't matter to me, just simply stating what I saw and believe.
Life for me is going well. I was transferred into a great school, good admin and fellow teachers. I am happy going to work each day.

On the more personal side, I met someone through online dating about 1 month ago. We are seeing each other 2 or 3 times each week and getting to know each other quite well. Whether meeting a new woman has made it easier to drop the rope on the W, I don't know. Or have I simply dropped the rope on the W, whether or not there is a new woman?

I have been putting a lot of DB effort into the start of this relationship. Trying to learn by my past mistakes, but also, demonstrate and use the things I have learnt in the last 15 months. I listen, validate, stop thinking about myself and don't rush anything. All those things I could do when I was the LBS, now being done with/to someone who is becoming more important to me each day.

With regards to the W, I don't really know how to continue with or about her. I don't know whether to send a text every so often, or to simply just do nothing. Actually Wonka, it would be great to have some incite into your mind, since reading a while ago your sitch.
If you don't mind Wonka. How did you deal with having a relationship with someone else, while still caring for your W? Was it about dropping the rope, moving on, but still having that love/care in the back of your mind? Was it something in your mind that always said you would take her back?
Was the new relationship never going to be "it all", because you still cared for the W?

My solicitor advised yesterday that all legal paperwork has been done. I will be taking over the both properties within the next few days, depending on how quick the bank acts.
The MIL met my mum at the shops yesterday and continued having a go at my mum about my selfish behaviours. I am trying to remain calm about it all, but would like to ring the MIL up and give her a piece of my mind. But I won't.
It really pi***s me off that I get blamed for being selfish during this separation, when I have paid for all the bills, didn't fight any of the asset splitting and even allowed the W to share in half of the tax refund ($16k) when legally she didn't need to get it. Yes I agree the W isn't getting a fair share of the assets, but that is her doing, she started the proceedings and sent the request to me. Again, there is nothing I can do about the MIL's view over this. She probably knows the truth, but has to blame someone. And that someone is me, the easiest target, or so she thinks, because I am not showing her that it gets to me.
So that is my life in a few sentences at the moment. Didn't think I would ever be like this, based on only a few months ago. I didn't think I would ever get past the W walking out of my life. But I look back and think, there was probably no chance in hell of any R, since she was most likely in the affair before BD. She still hasn't admitted to anyone, or shown the relationship to anyone (ie, holding hands in public).
I am deciding when to tell my boys about the new woman in my life. My big birthday (50th) is coming up in the middle of May, so I am sure she will be part of that, along with my sons. So will need to discuss with them beforehand.