So an update: Regarding his birthday, the girls made him cards and a presents. He stopped in the house during his shift for 10min or so and they saw him briefly. He seemed to get quite upset. I didn't really speak to him, I just kept preparing dinner for the kids. I did notice later that he spent a fortune on a cake for him and his buddies for his birthday, but nothing to share it with his kids.
I now know that he started looking into lawyers over a month ago. I'm not sure how far he has gone with it as he isn't touching any money, unless his parents sending him some, but that isn't likely. (They don't have much) So I have made myself an appointment with a lawyer today. I don't want to be blindsided by him. I know he thinks he has an advantage being a cop, as though that means you have unquestionable character.
So I am trying to just get on with things. Move on as best I can for now. It's hurts so much, but he has made his position clear. Hopefully next week I will be approved for single parent benefit which takes a bit of pressure off. I am even trying not to rely on him for childminding while I am at work. Him doing this means he makes no other efforts to see them. He can work a little harder for them, they deserve at least that. I have to stop wondering where he is, who he is with and how he is living. He is obviously fine. And I know that I will be too. In starting to wonder what I even feel for him now. It's almost all gone I think.
