Side note, I have also been really trying to make a conscious decision to choose kind, understanding and loving words or actions. I am not pouring or throwing myself at her by any means. But if I feel that there is something that she would want to know about S - even if it is just something he said or did - I tell her about it just to share positive things. Or if I have had him for 3-4 days and I know she misses him I will send over a few pictures. It is harder than I expected to do because part of me wants to hold on to the "if this is your choice then suffer through it" mentality. But in my silent, peaceful moments I feel like I am being reminded to choose love and kindness even when it is hard and even when you don't feel you get it back from the other person. Maybe those are the moments you need to practice it most. I don't know.
