own buz 22:mediation to reconcilliation, hopefully

[MrBond]

IMHO I don't see your BF as being manipulating you or trying to do things to his advantage. He doesn't seem to be fitting the pattern of the many WAS's I've seen who are only looking out for themselves.

I could be wrong, but I'm just not seeing it. In any event, if you're going to DB, the emphasis should still be on you. Document positive interactions with him.

" I feel that as each new situation arises, it puts me in a new place for possible different answers/solutions. So, that is why I have asked."

What you don't seem to get is that these situations aren't "new". They're just different aspects of the same problems. You ask the same questions when the situation even slightly changes as if you're too afraid to do the wrong thing. We're not you. Ultimately you're going to have to decide what to do on your own without asking for a consensus. You're going to have to learn to adapt.

"His reply was that I was able to approach him when he was conflicted, hurt, p!ssed off, etc. My approach was able to calm him down and join us as one....just by a kiss."

And instead of dealing with his problem this same way which he TOLD you worked, you told him that you don't want to hear about it any more unless there was another person there. You said before at the beginning that he was a private person and doesn't like to talk to strangers about his problems. He was learning to "trust" in you again and open up. He was pro-active about it when he wasn't before. And you shut the door on that.