What if WAW wants me to pursue her

[trc2009]

Like AS said, I wouldn't jump the gun yet.

I can say with all certainty that the thought of me with someone else probably makes my wife ill. She knows very well that I'm not the type of person that would cry in my beer for years and years over my broken marriage, and that I would move on with my life.

BUT....that doesn't mean she is in a place where she'd be all-in about saving our marriage at the moment (although my wife hasn't filed but we are separated).

Keep DBing. Consistent, long-term change THEY can believe in is what it's all about for you, I, and many newbies on this board.

I have found so far that there is a difference between change and "honest" change. We have to ask ourselves, "is this something I'd be doing IF my marriage wasn't on the rocks?" If the answer is "no," then that isn't "honest change."

And it's so hard not to turn things petty or into a game of will power. Truly detaching is hard. I battle with it nearly every second of every day. Given the detail of what you said, it's clear that you are as well. There's nothing wrong with that though because I'd be shocked to find a guy that REALLY wants to save his marriage that is able to completely detach at the drop of a hat.