Working on Divorce Busting every Day!

[Mic]

Thanhks labug. That article really helped. It again showed me overly fair I am being to my H. I think the mediator might say that too. Even his attorney thinks I am being generous. Hence one of the reasons I believe the judge pushed for mediation. She's getting tired of dealing with him. My opinion anyways - LOL:)
Went to his well visit and he lost a 1 lb.:( Not good. I asked the doctor if he felt the stress of the separation was hard on him. He said it would not bother him at all. I believe babies can feel stress and I do know in the future he will wonder why his dad who always wanted a son decided to leave his family when he was only 3 months old. That is on my H and not me. I truly feel that no matter how much time he now spends with them he left his family. We are not the same nuclear unit that we once were. I can't worry about the repercussions to my H.
To show how he does not understand this he actually put in his shared parenting plan that he deserves more time because I come up to nurse every day and get to see the children on my off days, and thats just not fair. Ummm -Kay If he had boobs he could nurse too.LOL And I'm not going to be nursing forever but it is only fair I give my youngest the same as the other two. This article will also give me leverage in not allowing him to take them on a week long vacation away from me this year. I wanted him to wait till next year. The 2 year old is already having a horrible time every time I leave, along with following me from room to room. He states she is fine as soon as I leave (as long as he bribes her with candy). The 6 year old has never been away from me more than 2 days.
Again I feel that yes he can and did leave but there are consequences to your decisions. Just because you choose to end a marriage does not mean that you get everything you want and everyone is suddenly happy.
To be honest if he came to be today and said lets get back together I woulden't do it. Is it crazy to hope that this goes on for a year and then we work on reconciling. I am learning so much about myself and GAL and how to be the wife I should have been and the woman I want to be. Not to hurt my kids but I know myself and I think at this point if we got back together we would just be in the same situation a few years down the road. Not that R is on the table at all. He finally told his closest friends we are getting divorced. I had already told my friends but he didn't want anyone to know.
I still am DBing and praying that the final divorce does not go through but I am learning so much about myself in the process.