own buz 22:mediation to reconcilliation, hopefully

[makingmagic]

Hi Ken... Thanks... I wasnt sure what his actions were telling me as he said last night when I stated he was giving me conflicting messages... he chuckled and said because he was confused. This morning he said his actions are not reflective of his feelings.

But.. at this point. I will STOP. I will let him process stuff more. AS you suggest, I will step back and give it time. I am not interested in making it worse... I HEAR YOU!! Thank you!!

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recalling convo:

1) why did you mention being swept off your feet? Is that what you are looking for?

H: .... No. I just think everyone wants that. (referring to that this rel'p with OW is not like that... ours was)

2) why did you bring up the mediators suggestion for hotel?

H: ... because I still have feelings that aren't reflective of my actions. I know I am non committal. I would love to spend the day .... (listed loving activities). Said he would like a week/vacation.

3) why do you think mediator suggested a hotel?

H: ... To get us back to a happy place.

~~~ at this point I was trying to understand as well why she would sugggest this.

H: ... because she is a counceller with experience, comes from a lifetime of her fathers background in marriage councelling.

Me: Yes, but she must be wanting us to look and think about this. Lets look at the positives/negatives

H: .... happy place, fun, repeated fun, & more (he was now starting to shut down). Expalined how his friend that he speaks with has a horrible relationship/separation and we are not at all like them.

Me: Negatives? are the risks worth the reward?

H: ... I can't think of any, but its fair to say that their could be.

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Thanks for the reminder JOB... are you suggesting that I am "being" unattractive/clingy right now? ... or to continue to stand up for and continue to value myself?