Magic, Do you recognize this posting of February 13, 2014?
"Hi Guys... I totally understand. I lived a life like that, constantly walking on egg shells trying to please him.. A few months ago, I made the decision (finally) to accept that we were broken up and he was miserable and I wasn't going to let it affect me any further. I was encouraged by many to stand up to him.. I was scared to death that standing up for myself was going to send him over the edge and be DONE, DONE, DONE, with me....forever. Boy, was I wrong!!
It turns out that it is an attractive feature, my therapist insisted I become attractive. He began to look at me in a different way. I am not the lost desperate woman hanging on his pantleg, anymore. How unattractive is that? THIS is how you guys are appearing!!! Do you know how much you are working AGAINST yourself?
I now make it a daily effort to not fear the outcome. Stand up and value myself. Stand behind my word, thought, decision, etc. and mean it! To STOP making my self worth conditional on other people.
It has made the difference. He no longer has a puppet that will do as told. They don't appreciate that anyway (taken for granted). He is interested in the new magic, who does not stand for his crap & calls him out on it.
Its true... We do teach others how to treat us.
We went for mediation the other day, and out of that reconcilliation has become a possible option at this point.
You have to decide if you REALLY want your relationship? If you do, you really don't want to be in one that requires you to be on eggshells... do you? You deserve better. So decide if your new relatiohship will be on eggshells or not? Start at this point."
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
