Then, my rollercoaster. I brought our garbage/recyclables to the dump for the first time (was always H job). I unloaded everything and drove home in tears. The newness of all this new territory is very raw.
It's really tough at first, but what you're going to quickly discover is there is no magic to what H was doing around the house and you can do it without him. At first it'll remind you that he's not there to do it and that is a depressing thought to be sure, but once you're used to doing it yourself you'll feel empowered, like maybe there's nothing you can't do. You'll come to realize that while you may WANT him, you don't NEED him. Later your struggle will be whether you really even want him or not, the WAS changes so much that at some point we start asking ourselves if we even want THAT person back again because they are not the same person we had a LTR with. Anyway, the emotions you're experiencing are totally normal and healthy, so don't feel like you're doing something wrong. You're doing fine
