I just want to get as many 180's in play as I can. I have this compulsion to do something. [but working on not doing anything negative] One of her complaints is that I wasn't romantic enough and wasn't interested enough in her day to day feelings. I can recall 3 occasions in the fall where I asked her out to dinner at our favorite place and she shut me down - of course now I know that she had EA/PA going at the time. I think I was always there to listen when she brought stuff up, but I didn't actively engage her to find out how she was if she didn't bring anything up -- I mistakenly assumed everything was OK. I can see that some of the things that would have been so easy to remedy then seem impossible now that she's built the wall. So now, if these were some of the major issues with our R, I'd of course like to 180 them, but I certainly can't go for "romantic" at this stage. Best I can do is hope to make her comfortable with conversation. Very carefully.
