Things are still going well over here. W is still here, continues to be friendly and open with me, and seems to be slowly working on herself. Her depressed periods seem to be shorter and shorter. I continue to give her my best, while also giving her space as required. I know some like to talk about letting them see what “life without us” would be like, but since there is no OM in our sitch, I see me not meeting her needs as a good way for her to seek an OM who would. No thanks!
This doesn’t mean “life without me” will never be an option, just that it certainly is not today.
I’m enjoying my life, doing anything and everything I want. Saying what I want more often too. It's been ages since I've stepped on an eggshell. Even so, I do still sometimes tire of this SSM (sex starved marriage) thing. I expect to have “The Talk” with W stating this reality at some point if she refuses to warm up.
I’ve been putting a lot of thought into the details and timing of this talk. I’m following Michele's guidelines and advice laid out in her book, SSM. Also, one of the true angels of this board spent some of her time helping me think this through via PM’s on the alt. Thank you UR, oops, I mean angel!
Things are such that I’m in no hurry. My life is comfortable enough, and I know W is still dealing with her issues and is not ready for a sexual relationship. Not with me or anyone else. Even so, eventually something has to give...
Last night W and I had a bit of a tif where I was able to validate her, stand up for myself, and work on improving the dynamics between us when conflicts arise. I'm very pleased with how things went.
I still believe that if I can wait this out we will not only be good again, but be better than before. I hope the ants in my pants don't prevent me from reaching this goal!
Damn the person who invented MLC, and bless the person who invented the patience shovel.
Bust On, you all!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
