Well…for the most part, it doesn’t change the life plan, too much…. But honestly I can not lie, it really puts a damper on the “Hope” that some day she will approach me for a possible second chance. I had a day or two there where I let her hurtful words sink into my self-conscious, and I hated it…I hated the way I was feeling….I hated fact that couldn’t fix it, ….that I couldn’t rectify anything any longer…..I couldn’t show her just how much she still meant and how much I had learned from everything that I had gone thru the past year and half.
I feel a bit more grounded now….but almost lost as to where I am, in terms of where I want to be. I have a ton of great family and friends….I am well liked, well thought of as a person….and I have an awesome ability to help others that are in difficult situations….but I don’t seem to be able to get this woman out of my head or heart, and it tears me up every time I lay in my empty bed at night.
I know that God has a plan…and its not about giving up on life….life continues I will take all that I learned, and continue to learn and explore my world….my life continues, and is rich for all that I have experienced, even if there is pain…..because if I would have never experienced so much joy and happiness….I wouldn’t be feeling this kind of pain in my heart.
Thank You again...
M 52 W 40 D 15 (step) S 12 (step) Married 7, together almost 8 Separated 1 year before bomb from her "I love you, I'm just..." BD final 8/22/12
