Bottom of the ninth

[LoisB]

I feel ya B. Mine left three girls too.

It was all I could do to hold it together when I happened upon a pic of Philip S. Hoffman's ex and his three children at the funeral. The 8-year-old's pain was all over her face and it broke my heart for my own girls.

I saw my own kids and my self in that picture. I guess a part of me has always wondered if I'd get a call one day about some terrible car accident or something where Smokey dies as a result of his alcoholism. In some ways, this situation has been much, much worse. Then, there would be closure for all of us.

[BklynMom]

The PSH story has been unbearable for me to follow. For me too, reminds me so much of our pain.

In a funk today. I am so sad. I think its just really hard when the girls are not around. I am them and they are me. Maybe its not healthy but they are my life. They are my everything and I just feel like something is missing when they are gone.

I also try to deny/suppress that I still dream & pray that the monster comes home.

I want my family to be whole. I try try try to count my blessings, to remember those less fortunate but I would do anything for my kids and everytime they leave our home its so hard for them. All my girls want is mommy and daddy to be together.

I feel like I am wasting my time waiting for a day that may never come. Either he comes home or atleast acknowledges his mistake. Why am I still waiting??

The pain is so deep and hurtful. I am able to function and survive unlike in the beginning where I was just holding on for dear life but the pain is still so real

[wishing, hoping]

(((BK)))

I am so with you. Although I don't want H back, but I live for my kids too. I feel incomplete when they are not around. I enjoy my kids and I love having them around and when H has them I just want to grab them and tell him to get away from my babies.

It's up and down, BK. When do you get them back? Mine will be back in 2 hours or so. But H is mad so he will keep them until the very last second possible.

I can't imagine doing this for the next 12 years.

WH

[BklynMom]

I need to record this part of the sitch as well.

We still have a joint asset which is a Condo in Colorado that we rent out. I will give you guys the real numbers

We bought it for 250 in 06
Current offer 176
Remaining on Mortgage 189
Monthly Mortgage payment 1,010
Rent 550
Maintanence & utilities: 250/mth


I do not want to sell because basically I would need between 10 & 12 at closing to cover the difference in the sale price and our mortgage along with brokers fees and various taxes. I don't have that kind of cash.

xH thinks I should take it from a joint e trade account that we have. i consider that account a college fund for the girls.

I am willing to take the loss every month. I am the one paying the mortgage and the maintenance (I also collect the rent and deal with the tenant). I think he intent on selling pshycologically to cut all ties with me. I really dont think I am holding on to this property to "hold on" to him I just dont have that kind of cash.

It makes more sense to me to continue paying the mortgage monthly as another for of saving for my girls college. When they are 18 we can sell and hopefully pay for a few years of college.

He could also sweeten the deal for me if he wanted to and pay the brokers fee but he has yet to do that. Anyway I feel like the bad guy and like he feels like I am holding on to him.

Thanks for being here

[Georgiabelle]

Brooklyn Mom,

Just catching up on your stitch. Real estate s$cks when you are upside down. But you aren't by much, and you have to do what you think is best.

And I understand about wanting an intact family. Not to hijack your thread, but h's parents reminded me that h said divorce wasn't an option to them a couple of years ago. Of course, I have no idea who this h is.

Just wanted to say I understand the feeling. Hang in there!

[LoisB]

B,

You're not the bad guy. Not even close. If he wants it gone, then he needs to sweeten the deal and make it worth your while. Put on your business hat.

I also try to deny/suppress that I still dream & pray that the monster comes home.

Ain't nothing wrong with this B. We are a special breed, us women who love addicts. We see through the disease and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Pray for him to come home someday. Miracles DO happen. I know you have a hard time believing this. But, REALLY!! It happens. Just don't put your life on hold waiting.

I pray every night that Smokey will face his addiction and get honest with himself. Every night. And, maybe, one day, he will get it. Ya just never know.

Love ya,

Heather

[BklynMom]

georgia, heather, wishing - thank you all for your love!! I feel so much better, all I needed was a change of perspective and for my girls to be home!!

I love you guys.

Georgia hang in there, you are doing amazing so soon after bomb. I need to remember to be gentle to myself.

[BklynMom]

Just caught up on Alec Baldwins latest sob story. He totally has the selfish mentality of a WAS. He is insane and a total narsastic mess. It is really terribly sad. Having just finished the article which is quite long, its truly amazing he is able to find ways to blame EVERYONE for why this year has been a disaster for him instead of looking at himself.

He is also so brilliant because he does find nuggets of truth & wisdom so it kind of throws the reader off. Yes he is right about the paparazzi and the media but are there other ways to deal with them. Jennifer Garner and Halie Berry are trying to work with the legistature for laws to protect them against paparazzi.

I really felt like I was reading inside the mind of my insane husband. It truely shows why know about of logic or reasoning can influence a WAS, they are insane.

Random Prediction: His current marriage will end very badly within 6 years

[job]

BklynMom,
I agree w/you...his marriage will not last for very long. If he would act like a normal person instead of acting like an @ss every time one of the photographers egg him on, they would leave him alone. They love to instigate and get him riled up and he takes the bait each and every time.

BTW, Halie Berry and Jennifer Garner are not the only ones seeking legislation. Apparently Kristen Bell and her husband, as well as others have reached out to Entertainment Tonight about the child situation and are working to fight to protect their children from being exploited by the press/photographers as well.

Yes, I can see a lot of my xh in Alec as well...he's just gotten off the rails and yet, he's a darn good actor. No excuse for bad behavior.

[wishing, hoping]

Wanna know something funny? When I watched the movie "It's Complicated", I felt the same way. H and Alec Baldwin were so alike. I could see myself in that situation 10 years from now. That movie really hit home for me.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who felt that way.

WH