I will try not to worry about the future too much, however, this is what I do. I plan. Planning is my second nature. I like to have plans and dreams and hopes about everything. I guess I am an extremely sensitive person, and right now I need to find the "inability" to feel anything.
I am a planner too. You can still plan, you just have to accept that you are planning things without your W. Plan things for you, to keep you moving and GALing. Right now, you don't know what your future looks like. The only thing you can do right now is accept that. As has been wisely pointed out to me many times, you never knew what your future looked like before, either.
You can still have hopes and dreams - for you. You can still hope and dream about what your life looks like . . . that you are happy, healthy, fulfilled, a good R with your D, and maybe even love - you don't have to know who it is with. Maybe it will be with your W. Maybe not. You need to see that there is more than one possible happy outcome for you. It's something that you just have to keep reminding yourself - it takes a good long while to sink in.
And NOOOOOO, you do not want to find an inability to feel anything. Good lord, that is the worst thing you can do! Don't stuff your emotions. You need to go through this. Feel your emotions. Lean into them.
You can't skip this, or hasten it, or not feel it. You have to live it.
Just believe that, one way or the other, you will come out better on the other side.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
On Tuesday night I found out about OM. I left the house the next day and I am in the process of L about financials and visitation rights. I love my wife but now I need to play a whole different ball game. I have started reading DR, but I need your input. How do I interact with her from now on?
Man, Hopeful.... That was a great shot in the arm and something we can all use for inspiration when we get discouraged. Very similar to my sitch. Thanks for the encouraging post.
Me:45 W:45 D17, S21 (at college) M:23 T:27 BD: 11/17/13 Started Counseling: 12/18/13 W Moved Out: 02/01/14
Don't give up because of the EA/PA. It does change the game but you can survive it if it's not a total deal breaker for you.
That's something you'll have to decide for yourself but I would encourage not to make a final decision based on how you are feeling right now. I know it's a real punch in the gut but don't do t let the intense negative feelings you have right now dictate your actions which might have permanent consequences.
Hang in there.
Me:45 W:45 D17, S21 (at college) M:23 T:27 BD: 11/17/13 Started Counseling: 12/18/13 W Moved Out: 02/01/14
