How do you vets suggest I respond to her text, which was "I.m not trying to hurt you I just want this over and done with where we can both move on. Please just go sign."
Unfortunately it only takes one to D. You can't stop it. You can delay it through inaction, but that just creates resentment in the WAS. Don't hide, don't ignore, don't postpone. If you agree to the terms then sign and be done with it. D isn't necessarily the end of things, sometimes D is needed before the WAS truly feels the pressure lift.
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It seems like to me she thinks this will all just go away if the D becomes final.
She probably does think that, but you can't convince her otherwise.
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And I ask myself all the time, was her life really that bad? Was she that miserable like she says? Has what has been done really too much to overcome? Is the idea of M too much of a burden/pressure for her?
And what has fretting over those questions helped you to accomplish? Don't focus on questions that have no answers, you'll just spin in place. What are YOU doing to move YOU forward in life? What are your goals? What accomplishments will you look back on in a year? THOSE are the questions to ask yourself.
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I still maintain if she didn't have her best friend to run to this would not be happening.
It absolutely would still be happening. All WAS's seek out "enablers" to tell them what they want to hear, if her BF hadn't done it then she would have found someone else.
