I agree. U have a better chance with a live-in WAS to turn things around than if you were physically separated.
I don't know about this^^^. I'd like some data to support it, though I'm not sure how that would be obtained.
In my sitch, h leaving lowered the tension level big time. And over time, it gave me the chance to work on MY issues, a lot better than if he'd been there in my face the whole time.
The changes I made were more noticeable b/c we were not together on a daily basis, and finally, by making the rare interactions we had, better/different than before, h had a lot more to miss when he was gone.
The Contrast between the world HE was creating for himself and the homelife I was creating HERE, was huge, in time. H noticed it b/c it was blindingly obvious.
I doubt that could have happened if he had remained in the home til we got so tired of each other that one of us bolted for good.
Just my .02
I think in most cases it can be a good thing depending on the situation. In my case, we originally separated in order to lessen the amount of time we had around each other therefore we fought less. And that has definitely been the case thus far. Which is most definitely a good thing. BUT, in my case my wife has "said" that she's as happy as she's been in years since we've been separated. Now, we've only been separated for about a month and I've only been DBing for about 20 days so it IS possible that she's just "saying" that and that isn't how she feels.
Time will tell I guess. If everything remains the same, the separation will just end up being one nail in the coffin.
Me: 33 W: 27 S: 5 D: 2 Bomb: 1/2/14 First Separation: 1/25/14 MC: 2/7/14 (one time only) Moved Back in: 3/31/14 W says she wants a divorce and moves out: 7/26/14 Appt to sign dissolution: 12/30/14
