Separated and on a Walk

[artsy]

Paul, my birthday is Thursday, too!!!

[paul19510]

Hi bug. Apparently that and the fact that she's been venting her hurts about me and M to our kids for a kong time. They really had a bad opinion of me crom fhe stuff she said to them. Once I knew that fhere was nothing fo stand for. She flat out told my D16 that the only reason she stayed this long was because I made really good money. I apologized fo my child that she had been exposed to that. Time to get healthy and leave this awfulness behind.

[paul19510]

Paul, my birthday is Thursday, too!!!

happy birthday to us artsy!

[paul19510]

Journal: the gym went good today. My HITT class was fun. I share the same Bday as another class member. We laughed about it. The instructor turned 23 today. ugh I'm old lol. I feel loose and limber. that helps. I continue to keep W up to date on D16 concussion. She seems almost angry with D16. there's nothing I can do for that. I just love my D and tell her to work it out with mom when she's ready.

When W protests, I tell her that I can see D is angry and to consider that when reaching out or communicating with her. . I do see that moving closer to D is not and probably will not solve the things that brought us to this place. I continue to work on me. That's all I can do. I continue to try an detach. this should help me to feel better . W feels and looks angry. there's noting I can do about it. I need to get healthy and stay healthy for myself and my kids.

[labug]

Did your W ask you to help her improve her communication with D? If not, stop.

Don't try to read your W's emotional state, when we do that it's usually in a way that makes us look better and them look worse.

Let it go.

[labug]

That reads harsh when I look back at it. It's not, so don't add that inflection.

[paul19510]

Wow bug, thanks. It didn't tske it as harsh. My W only complsnined about it. I went into helper mode. My D complains about it to. I do try to stay out of it but not always good at that.

And you're correct. My W might not be mad. I am only guessing. Refocus on my life and me. Cant do anything else. Wow did I say that before. Lol

[labug]

If W continues to complain about it, how would you go about setting a boundary?

W, I'm uncomfortable when you discuss with me your communication problems with D. In future please....... (your turn)

[paul19510]

Hi bug. If W continues to complain I will empathise by saying I hear thst this is an issue for her and that she should spesk with D About it. Part of her complaints is that I don't back her up with the kids. So if I don't sgree with her or I choose a different direction she indicstes its more of the same.

[paul19510]

Hi bug. If W continues to complain I will empathise by saying I hear thst this is an issue for her and that she should spesk with D About it. Part of her complaints is that I don't back her up with the kids. So if I don't sgree with her or I choose a different direction she indicstes its more of the same.