GAL plans this weekend. What's up guys?

[paul19510]

2S2Q, I am going to jump on the bandwagon here and say that you might want to back up a few steps and look at things through a different lens.

If you really are done, you're done. There is no shame in that.

But I am not sure that you are really done, vs. you are tired of this crappy situation.

If you think it's that you really are done, how do you know?

I can tell you from being there right now, that having filed for D has really only made me feel worse. I didn't have a choice but to file, but if I did, I think I would have waited quite a bit longer. Not because I have really any hope that my H and I will R, but because you just never know what might happen.

There is nothing keeping you from living the life you want to live right now. The only thing you can't do while still M is get married to someone else.

It can get tiring having hope, and having your expectations/hopes constantly dashed. I get it. Maybe just focus on yourself for a bit, and see what happens. Stop thinking about your M, and your W, and what she is thinking, and what's going to happen, and just live.

2sq, I agree with M, if you can consider things for a little bit and look at 25s post again (wow it was really powerful) then perhaps you'd change your mind. I am in a similar situation to M in that certain circumstances made it necessary for me to begin a legal process. I got certain external information that lead me to believe that me and my kids would not be financially secure if I didn't take that step in my state to further separate me and my W.

I have heard things that tell me and have seen things that show me she hasn't been interested in being M in a long time. I'm sure that there are things I did that added to this. I'm sure that there are just parts of her own life that added to this. I'll have to sort out the issues that I brought to the table. I can't fix her's.

I also agree with M if you decide to move forward with legal stuff, there's not shame in that either. these situations are really confusing.

I will also say that I am impressed and amazed at the success of people like Bug and 25. they earned it. However, what they did is NOT COMMON. What they accomplished is a very small percentage and was only done because they changed for themselves and the person they are M to decided to re-engage them. the second part was completely out of their control. But because they changed, I don't think the second part was something they HAD to have happen....my 2 cents (or 4 cents...)

again there's no shame in moving forward. Or you can choose to move forward in a way that is not legal. Just by living your life. I would think that you also want companionship. if you're like me, you won't do anything about that without moving "formally" away from your M. I respect that. Some people do things like dating while separate and still hoping to R. I don't agree with that for myself. you have to think about what you want and what you need for you to be happy and for your kids to have the best dad on the planet.

we're here for you No judgment from me about things.