Now that you have seen a L, you know what you'd be facing in a D. Stay away from the L now unless things change drastically. You do not want your wife to know that you consulted with one.
Your wife is getting close to 40. I'm not sure why, but this seems to be an age where trouble comes very frequently (look at the ages listed on other people's posts). My wife was almost 40 as well when our troubles started. It may not be an EA or PA in your case, but keep your eyes open. An A is a different situation in how you'd approach it.
Do you know what your wife's biggest emotional needs are? Make sure you are intentionally meeting these as often as possible. In the past you failed to meet these needs regularly, or drained her tank of positive interactions by being demanding, disrespectful, unsupportive etc.. You must 180 this and start meeting her needs and stop emptying those deposits with old, bad, habits!
One last point. I would avoid talking to friends and relatives about your sitch. While they mean well, and care about you, there advice is usually targeted at getting you out of a bad situation and not typically geared toward saving your M. Additionally, it may become uncomfortable for you or your W to face those people if you recover your M.
