When you are in a more rational mind ask your w what sort of person dates or has an affair with someone they know is married. One thing is clear; they are comfortable with lying and adultery. That includes emotional affairs as well
Ask her if she has thought about what OM will be like when she aren’t only seeing his good side. It’s easy to impress someone when you only see him or her secretly, and don’t have to clean up after them or live with them.
I would strongly advise against having this conversation. She has an answer, and it goes like "YOU forced me to because I'm so miserable with you." Again, you are imposing your morals on her, and questioning her judgment, and you don't want any part of that right now. She will dig in. I know, because I gave the "Infidelity is NEVER acceptable" speech, and seconds later I realized I was arguing with someone using the logic of a 13 year old teenager, desperately trying to extricate myself from the conversation. Most A's come to a conclusion of their own after some months, and your W will eventually inevitably face that question on her own. You don't need to be the one to ask it.
