own buz 22:mediation to reconcilliation, hopefully

[MrBond]

"it is your opinion that I have not changed. I think thats a strong untrue statement to make."

All semantics. You haven't actually READ my post. I said that based on the repeated cycles you haven't changed. Sometimes you need to learn to stop reading things so literally. That's why you jump into all your explanations.

"As for your comment about h not having a "choice"... He does.. he can have and do whatever he choses to do."

No he doesn't. Free will has no parameters. The way you presented his "choice" to him is an ultimatum. He can have this OR that. That's controlling. I don't know why you keep arguing about this. You are the one who said it and I'm taking it from the POV of your H or an outsider hearing it and I'm telling you that it's controlling.

A better way is to present it as a strong option and not to make it an all or nothing statement. That shows strength and belief in yourself.

"You are suggesting that I still require validation and that is why I "STILL" give many explanations."

Not "suggesting". I'm telling you that's what I see and why it's so frustrating to post to you. I've already spent more time explaining myself to you more than any other poster on the boards. You get more help than anyone I know on here but you still debate back. It does get a irritating after awhile. No answer ever seems good enough for you. You always seem to need to have us explain everything to you rather than you figuring it out for yourself.

"I am allowing (not controlling) the outcome... whatever it may be. Like I used to."

And then you come on here and complain about it. That's not letting go. You have to make that a part of your personality if you want to truly change.

"I have a hard time understanding others POV, which is WHY I ask for explanations. I am not opposed to changing my opinion, once I have a better understanding. Im good."

But there comes a time when you have to stop asking "why" all the time. Sometimes talking to you is like talking to a kid who keeps asking "why" to everything that's explained to them.

"Communication: I have been cautiously stopping myself from "talking", while listening. I catch myself. I direct myself back to listening. I also have been "listening" more to what the posters are saying and not jumping to defense."

Sorry I haven't seen that.