I may have done too much

[D2ndday]

Lost!, I've tossed that thought around many times lol! So true! I think, if you were looking at a list of potential partners, who picks the one who is willing to not only have an affair with a married person, but also a person who continues the affair breaking up a household?? Seems like a winner? lol my sarcasm.

When you are in a more rational mind ask your w what sort of person dates or has an affair with someone they know is married. One thing is clear; they are comfortable with lying and adultery. That includes emotional affairs as well

Ask her if she has thought about what OM will be like when she aren’t only seeing his good side. It’s easy to impress someone when you only see him or her secretly, and don’t have to clean up after them or live with them.

I have thought also having an affair is forbidden, exciting, what happens when it is no longer an affair. When the Spouse is available, will he loose interest, will she? This is the same as your last sentence, but just the way I have thought about it. My W is high maintenance, always has been. Before we moved in to together, I did not see this, because we were dating, but, once she moved in, and we became serious, I saw it. I mean who knows, I was good with it, but OM may be too.

One very difficult thing for me right now is there are two parts to it. The affair, and her saying she wants a D. So even if the A ended, I know it does not mean we are back together. But what's been getting me, is the more time apart we have. The more I wonder, when I look at her, who is this person. I thought I knew her, I mean we have been together a long time. I feel like there are times when I am like looking at a stranger. That all feels so weird.

I know I need to keep my focus on me, but I think it sometimes helps for me to vent these thoughts. So they done consume me other times. I can leave it here, and go on with my day. I am sure it is because she is in it, it is harder to see how messed up that is, but all I can help is me.

....Right now is time for you to work on you brother. I go through the ups and down of my wife affair daily. But I'm doing better now. I still cry but am at peace knowing I can't do anything to change the situation. Be patient.

I am trying, its a hard mindset to stay in. Hard to stay in the right now. My minds wants to go to places like how much longer? How long can I last? How's it going to play out? You know what I mean, all those things. I'm just tired, feel worn down. Like negative is being piled on top of negative, with minimal positive mixed in. I am not done though, ill keep on! Thank you for your words! I feel like coming here, gives me a push to keep going.