own buz 22:mediation to reconcilliation, hopefully

[makingmagic]

Ken...No... that is what YOU are saying. I am merely suggesting that he is no better than me or anyone else who has made drunken mistakes. Its very common, actually. They are mistakes. I have taken FULL responsibility for that night. He just won't let it go. The weight loss and the fact that I didn't eat are only explanations.

My actions to this "friend" matter is a HUGE difference from who I was prior to BD. Displaying growth. The issue I was trying to present was about the "friend" not the "drunkeness". I am comfortable with my drunken disorder, it was no different than anyone else who over indulges. Its not like this is a usual occurance. I have apologized to those who required an apology. They get it... it was drunken fun. I have made my peace with myself.

~~~~~~~~````

Mrbond... it is your opinion that I have not changed. I think thats a strong untrue statement to make. I have definately changed, but can admit and be RESPONSIBLE that there is more work to be done.

As for your comment about h not having a "choice"... He does.. he can have and do whatever he choses to do. He has free will, without my judgement. He has LOTS of choices... However, it is my choice to bail out here. Please explain further how I am controlling this? (I am not challenging, but asking). I have read many threads of posters who have "insisted" on a boundary, the WAS respected it. I am not insistant. I stated one, and now my mouth is shut.

To reiterate:

You are suggesting that I still require validation and that is why I "STILL" give many explanations. <<< I feel I am in the process of stopping that. I don't need to "keep" telling anyone. I do need to show it. <<<< I feel I am now showing it. (not explaining to h, why I don't feel like "coffee time", or to "talk" or to... with him). I have not "chased" down my friend either. Like I used to. I am allowing (not controlling) the outcome... whatever it may be. Like I used to.

I have a hard time understanding others POV, which is WHY I ask for explanations. I am not opposed to changing my opinion, once I have a better understanding. Im good.

Communication: I have been cautiously stopping myself from "talking", while listening. I catch myself. I direct myself back to listening. I also have been "listening" more to what the posters are saying and not jumping to defense. I am still a work in progress here... I want to be a much better communicator.