The knob is a good one actually....You can learn from this one. First, as 25 said, what goals are served by right or wrong? I don't just mean in your current situation, but also in a good marriage, with the kids, with a neighbor, or at work. It can be applied to a lot of situations in life. Just the other day I was watching Oprah and Ilyana brought this up......So many people converse from the stand point of right and wrong instead of "this is how I feel". If you want to change your dynamic of how you communicate, then the changes start with you.
So your wife snapped at you.....Or did she? I think she was more snapping at the girls, but you were just at the receiving end of it. She is more than likely frustrated with the girls behavior as of late (The poo instance, fighting bed time, and now the knobs). Things like this happen in a marriage, the difference is how one handles them. As I see it, you had three choices;
1-Keep quiet and do nothing...This keeps a fight from happening, but doesn't really solve anything, leads to resentment, etc.
2-Argue back....I think what happens with this one is obvious
3- Validate and Listen-....Talk calmly, get to the root of the problem, and works towards a solution. You don't take ownership of her anger (as you said, she was mad at something the kids did and not you), Listen and hear her frustration with the kids behavior, validate her frustration (All parents get frustrated with kids LOL), and then work together towards correcting the issue.
The choice is yours on how to proceed.....another baby step.
How did the "no nap" experiment go? Honestly, that is what we did with our kids at that age. Once bedtime became a fight, then nap time ended. The kids were a little moody later in the day, but they were so tired that bedtime was not an issue most nights. They actually fell asleep most nights earlier...So more quiet parent time LOL.
