It's Time to Sing a Brand New Song

[Mimi00]

Journal/rambling:

So now I am getting a bit overwhelmed.

I called today to set an appointment w/ a property management agency to view some apartments this weekend..... he said they want me to make 3x's the rest amount. So if rent is $850, they want me to make $2,550 a month.... I totally don't make that. lol

I was really looking forward to getting a place on my own and decorating etc...but now I'm thinking maybe I should make my temp roommate situation a permanent one? But then no decorating fun....and she's allergic to fish, she can't even breathe it in.... I eat fish a few times a week... no more fish for me?! I've been living my life around H for that last few years, I was really looking forward to be able to do my own thing anytime I wanted.....I so don't want a permanent roommate.

Also, I am nervous that I will pick a wrong/unsafe neighborhood b/c of what I can afford right now.... worry is starting to flood my thoughts. I'm going to sit down w/ a housing counselor in the city I want to move to so hopefully they can lead me down the right path.

I'm getting tired w/ working so much, especially when the majority of it goes into other peoples pockets.

Not sure why, but this week unfortunately H has been popping in to my thoughts more frequently....and I just pray to the thoughts of him to end permanently one day.

On the bright side is that I saw this really handsome guy this week, I found out his name and googled him, he's a former college athlete and he's a music DJ as a hobby(I love music!), he's well traveled too (don't judge me for google "researching"!!!!)... unfortunately he's 27 (I feel like the 30 year old tainted almost-divorcee, that a young guy like that probably wouldn't be interested in, but you never know?)...it's nice to day dream and think of the day maybe a nice guy like that would come my way. If I see him again, maybe I will get up the nerve to at least say hello and hope for the best.