W comes in today and, for some reason, decides to tell me about some D horror stories she heard about. She then says she doesn't know how the w did that to her h. I said there are tons of stories like that and D is really bad business and, when it comes to hurt feelings, doesn't help anybody. She notices a M/V book im reading and asks how it was. i said it was good and im learning a lot in improving communication and handling stress.
She then says "hindsight is 20/20" OUUUUCH!
Why not concede that but add "better late than never" and if she says it's too late, you say "for YOU maybe..."
b/c no WAS wants to see the LBS "Get it" and become what they (the WAS) always wanted them to become only to give it all to some OW/OM.
I think it would irk me a lot, to see my h "finally" becoming who I needed/wanted him to become, only to see him with some OW who gets the benefits of MY work and sacrifices??
I'd have to take a 2nd look at my h to check if I believed the changes were real AND lasting AND would last with ME b/c let's face it,
the fear that the WAS has, is that the cause of their sadness will return if they come back to the m.
Sometimes they are not wrong in having this fear and always, if they feel it, it has to be respected.
Hence the need for small but consistent changes + sufficient time, before it = change they can believe in.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
