Ken... I am not excusing myself from my responsibility. I DID do and say THOSE things... but it is NOT a reflection of who I am. I would NEVER ever say or feel that way I was behaving that night. It was the alcohol. As much as that is not an excuse, its the truth. I am responsible, because I apologized to those involved and they understood. IT was stupid fun drunkenness...Except to him, who is ranting on over a week now.
I apologized for my behaviour. WE have all been drunk and said/did stupid stuff while in that state. My behaviour was not any worse than anyone else. In fact, I was quite cute.
This friend is trying to be all high and mighty as if he has never behaved poorly when alcohol was involved. This is merely my point.
Yes, it was my choice to drink. Yes, it was my poor choice to not eat and continue to consume alcohol past a point that I am not used to. (I can normally drink like a fish, but since I have lost all this weight, its a brand new me!!) I wasn't aware that this^^^^ was possible with my new size. I know better now. I did not HURT anyone by my comments/actions.
When I throw in "possible" or "may be", it suggests that I am considering what the writer is suggesting instead of disregarding it. I have every intention of accepting full responsiblity, but I am still reviewing it. Trying to wrap my head around the suggestion. Not using it as an evasion.
THIS is very new to me... my 180 to accept that Yes, I do this. and to let the outcome fall where it may.
~~~~~~~~~~ He is acting/treating me like I am the only one in the world who has made drunken mistakes and not accepting my apology. I have been defending THAT...
He has no reason to be concerned....thats the part that is upsetting me so much. He should know better. He claims to be my friend. If the sitch was reversed (and it has been), I would shrug it off, laugh at it, and actually go to the defence for my friend. It was a drunken MISTAKE!! a mistake!! Sheesh. He should know me better!
He is concerned because he is
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
