W said its over - Said I can't change her mind

[25yearsmlc]

"I filed for divorce. You can either go in the next couple of days and sign. If you
don't go sign then they will have to serve you work. It will be less embarassing if you just go sign.
You need to get tv water and electric out of my name. Please put my Taurus key in
mailbox and I will put your car key and apt key in there for you. At the end of the
week I will take my name off joint acct and stop using it."

Received this email from my W last night. What exactly should my next steps be? Need help from any and everyone????

I'm in a state of shock.

You call a L asap. YES you do. You don't "wing it" and do all this without a L. That is penny wise and pound foolish (or to put it in American terms, don't save a penny today that will cost you a dollar tomorrow).

I don't know what assets you have, if any. But seeing a L to discuss this MAKES SENSE even if you only hire him/her for an hour at a time to review the documents she sends you.

And waive the service, which is what she is asking you to do by signing. If you don't sign off on that waiver, then you get served divorce papers somewhere, and she's telling you ahead of time that it would be at your work. This, btw, was a courtesy on HER end. She could have just had you served wherever...

She's not trying to rub your nose in things; she's trying to divorce awfully fast, I agree. But don't read negativity beyond that.

I think Not arguing about the lawyers and money when there's not much to debate, keeps the uglier side of things separate from your interactions.

When you do interact, see it as an opportunity to show the new confident you.

And don't freak out if she's seeing OM, b/c she probably has someone in mind or she would not be leaving you. Granted, her fantasy about who is out there and what they are really like in a r, is not real.

But to HER, it will feel that way. Do not challenge her choices now. Remember, that only forces her to defend those choices.

Read the "Newbie Rules" and btw, Sandi assembled those, she did not make them up. They are based on MWD's (Div Busting) approaches.

(So You can't blame sandi if they don't work!)

Note that SOME won't apply to your situation....but some sure will.

But DO consult a Lawyer. Consulting does not mean you are filing, it means what it says, "i.e. consulting." Knowledge is power.

And if there is a lot of money in that joint account, you may want to take a closer look at the numbers...