Heather, Your h is not always going to be "johnny on the spot" in responding to you or doing things. This goes for people in the real world as well. You have to be patient and he's got to digest this information. You probably won't hear anything until he's discussed the matter w/his father.
You've made your high bids, so step back and allow time for them to work on it. If you don't hear anything in two weeks, then I would inquire about it.
Patience!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
"Well Heather with those kind of demands looks like we,ll have to file for divorce. Dissolution wont work with those. we,ll both have to spend alot of money that we don't have." Smokey
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
If your dad is still willing, I was hoping he could draw up the dissolution papers.
Here's what I'm asking (based upon discussions with three attorneys):
I'd like to be able to remain in the house for 10 years. At that point, I will buy you out/refinance/sell. This gives me until Louisa is 21.
$1600 support each month:
$800 in spousal support for 10 years $800 in child support for Louisa
The retirement is figured out by the courts.
When the papers are ready, I will have an attorney look them over.
As far as visitation is concerned. I'm at a loss right now. I need to think on this one. I did contact you two weeks ago and ask that you get back to me about the last visitation visit. I will let you know.
I need to gather a few more things for the taxes. If you come on Saturday, I will have it ready.
Take Care,
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Me: "I didn't think I was "demanding" anything. I'm sorry if this is how you took it. Those are things I'm asking. And, I'm confused because $1600 is the current arrangement which you agreed to last spring. And, we had already discussed the house situation. If, however, you want to come up with other suggestions, I'm willing to listen. Or, at least, I will consider it with an attorney.
But, do what you need to do."
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I've known this man a long time and I am hearing the Smokey that is feeling some pressure building up. I hear the, "I'm reaching my limit with stress tone."
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I sent a text to Smokey: "I never intended to upset you with my email. I was thinking about how it must feel from your perspective. And, I can see how I would feel frustrated if I was working hard and received anger from my kids and requests for more money. I don't know the answer. Just wanted to tell you I'm trying to understand your point of view."
I'm sure he will think I'm full of hidden agendas, maybe I am. Mainly, I just want things to continue smoothly like they have been. And, hopefully, he will soften some.
Who knows. I tried. No response.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Oh, and my mom put the money down on the cottage!!
I paid another bill which felt good.
It was a really busy day. Really busy. I taught, dealt with the situation with Smokey, checked in with the bookkeeper, told all my clients about my upcoming vacay and arranged for someone to care for the animals while we are gone. Yay!
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Hi Heather. Are you always so nice? so understanding?
Your words to smokey are soooo compassionate. He will respond.
Nice to hear that mom has your back too. When are you going on b Vacay?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Um... No. In fact, this is a bit of a 180 for me. I've been very angry and so have my daughters. I'm trying to let some of this anger go and help my daughters show him some compassion. We shall see. I really don't want to be forced in a position where we have to move out of our home. And, sadly, he holds a lot of the cards in this respect. One day at a time.
He is a very sick, sad man and he's lost so much. I can't imagine being him. I'd miss my kids so much I think I'd crumble into a ball. Hell, I'd miss my dog that much!!
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
A beautiful 180. Very compassionate. I'd like to speak like that. He will respond. Just let him process it.
Meanwhile, at the bar: i'd like to order us 2 Large glasses of patience. I'm buying!!!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
