So, I set myself a deadline, gathered my courage, and took the plunge, going upstairs and asking if W had time to talk.
I made 4 points:
o I don't like divorce, and don't consider it a good solution, but given how things are, said it is probably the best solution. W replied it is the only solution she is considering.
o we are both parents, I said, and expect 50/50 custody. It turns out that after 16 there is no custody, and the child is free to decide themselves. Child support is expected for full time students up to the age of 21. I don't like this no custody thing.
o I said we should tell kids and move in summer. W said that with all the work required on the house, this was not a given. We then talked about all the renovation, and she (fairly) said that most of the fine, quality work would fall to her, with me doing only the grunt stuff (she is quite a craftsperson and has high standards).
o we should do this together. She seemed to accept this.
o kids are #1. She said of course.
She again described me as a "project, who she perversely took on, trying to free me from my dad", against the advice of her friends. She reiterated that she really disliked being with me, and compared our R to that of my parents.
The discussion was civil.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
