Since DB'ing the last few weeks, I've let the subject die on my end of things. Social media certainly makes things interesting though. Our parents, brothers, sisters, and some select friends know we're separated. It's FAR from public knowledge (although I assume some people know something isn't right).
But I know her family and I know them well. I have initiated no contact with them at all. Now that things are being posted on Facebook, I can deduce with pretty good certainty that they are pretty confused why she'd be talking to another guy while separated from her spouse even if it is just innocent. It would be bordering on inappropriate even if we were not having problems given his track record. Honestly, now that it's pretty clear that she is communicating with him, I'll let her family and others do that dirty work. My brother-in-law and even her mother texted me after they started posting stuff on Facebook to see how I was doing. They never mentioned anything about OM but there is clearly a reason why they waited three weeks after the separation to finally check in on me. They're probably searching for clues too because they won't get anything from her. She'll just tell them enough keep the pressure off herself.
If for some reason she does file for divorce, then the truth will come out. The cell phone bill is in my name and I can walk into the cell phone store and get pretty much anything I want (other than the contents of the texts). But I will give her EVERY opportunity to tell me before I do that. But all bets are off if she says she's filing. Because then I have to worry about my kids. If she's legitimately pursuing something with this guy, I will take every step necessary that they never set foot in his presence. It may make her resentful and upset with me and make the marriage completely unsalvagable, but one thing I decided a few weeks ago is that the kids come first, the marriage comes second.
Me: 33 W: 27 S: 5 D: 2 Bomb: 1/2/14 First Separation: 1/25/14 MC: 2/7/14 (one time only) Moved Back in: 3/31/14 W says she wants a divorce and moves out: 7/26/14 Appt to sign dissolution: 12/30/14