Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

In conjunction with my last post.

I know that my W may feel vunerable at a time like this and I certainly do not want to push or pursue.

I just wish I knew how far to take it without crossing that line.

I am ok with empathizing and validating that is not my problem. My problem is maximizing my interaction time with her when she is opening up about feelings she has that have nothing to do with our sitch. Or does our current sitch amplify her feelings and that is why she is coming to me and telling me what it going on?

Is it a gut feeling that I will know when to stop with the consoling? It seemed as if other things were bothering her, bills, whether to go away this weekend, and probably the current state of whatever it is we have at the moment. I was glad we kept the main focus on the family member but wondered if maybe she was looking for me to also "feel her anguish" with these other things that are going on in her life. IMHO, she lately has acted a bit overwhelmed with things that have been happening to her. I know it is her life but when she lets me in a little it breaks my heart when she is hurting. How can you lovingly convey if things were better between us I would be much much more sympathetic but because of her choices I need to guard my emotions so that I don't get disappointed when this or any other crisis come and go?

Should I now ask if there are any developments or let her come to me again?

This morning I did tell her to please tell the family member that I was thinking and Praying for them and his spouse and also for her family as well.

She said she would.

She left her door open more than usual last night. It was hard not keep checking to see if she was ok but I managed.