own buz 22:mediation to reconcilliation, hopefully

[makingmagic]

Thank you Heather. Why are growing pains painful? (OUCH)

I believe I am at that pivotal point that you mentioned above. Still trying to let go of the idea that our relationship of old is over, and realizing that the only chance of survival is to let it go. AND... realizing that the new me, who God wants me to be and that the whole world is new and available to me. Its super scary & exciting... but still scary.

Like YOU, I was very dependent, clingy, too scared to be alone... too much everything.

I am liking who I am becoming. I want to be more patient and a better listener. Still working on that.

I agree too (scared to admit), that I know he is doing the best he can atm and he isn't who I need in my life right now either. He needs to grow the f up! I want a MAN!

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As much as I want to continue to grow and learn, at what point does the pain stop? or at least lessen? I thought that If I ever got to this point (where I am today), that It wouldn't hurt, but it still does. Im not talking about the pain of losing him, but the pain of acceptance and pain of holding true to my own value and values. Why does that hurt me? Its such a struggle, a fight within myself.