Sorry about that last post. There was a moment of self pity there. Today is a better day. I'll be ok after all this. I have come to recognize a couple of the flaws in our R that got us to this point. Things that either one of us could have so easily broken the cycle on, if only we had been a little more in tune to what was going on. I'll tell you (and I'll certainly tell my kids when they are about to marry) there are about 5 books that should be required reading for anyone wanting to marry. Anyway, I'm just glad I'm not in W's shoes. I'm down 19 lbs on a 20 lb goal, I'm at peace with myself, my morals and values. I can see some of my faults, and won't make those mistakes again. On the other hand, W still takes no responsibility for anything. Just found out she has maxed out a couple of cards I never knew about, and the collectors are taking her to court. I gave her a budget, she blows through it, and then wonders why I'm not paying off her card in full every month. I went through paycheck and expenses with her to show her how that all works, and her conclusion was that I'm hiding money. That whole gross/net thing seems confusing. So I kind of realize that there's been this whole fiscal irresponsibility thing going on for years that I kind took care of and resented, but never addressed, and should have. In any case, if we D, she's got that lesson coming at her in spades -- bad credit rating, looking for new mortgage, car loan, all with a work history that started last week. If we R, we'll have to figure out how to break that irresponsibility/resentment cycle, which I am now aware is an issue for me in an R. So I'm lucky, I guess. Either way, I will rid myself of that issue. Every day is easier when you're living clean, and know who your monkeys are.
