Bug, you are right. I need to not engage my H. How do I do that when he is texting me about the kids? I guess the best I can do is just ignore the emotional part and answer the practical part (if there is one)?

I didn't hire the most aggressive D attorney in town. (My H likes to exaggerate to "make a point.")

I understand what you are saying, Bug, about interpretation, but in this particular case, my H acknowledged (and defended, and blamed on me) that he is purposely being hateful in his communications with me.

I will guzzle a big ol' can of STFU every morning from now on.

I have copied Ad's posts into my notes on my phone - I've read them many times and find that I am not in a place to really digest, but I am hoping they will click with me at some point.

me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14