Help!!!!

[paul19510]

Hi guys, I have another couple of questions.

Is it normal to feel ok, even good when my H isn't around now? When it's just me and the kids I'm good, and I can even see myself doing this without him. Generally after he comes around I fall apart a little, then feel like I have to start again.

Also, when this first happened in early Jan, I totally broke the rules. Wrote him letters, contacted his family etc. I haven't done any of that now for nearly a month. (It's more than a little painful - it seems like me and my kids have fallen off the face of the planet for their grandparent and aunts and uncles on his side.)
Did I do too much damage?

And finally what do people think of setting a time limit for my current situation? At the moment he has left physically, all his stuff is here, his money still goes in the joint account. But he will only babysit the kids when I have to work, he never takes them overnight (I don't even know where he is staying). He seems to think this is enough and fair. A friend has recommended giving this situation another 4 weeks, and if he doesn't initiate anything I should ask him to either commit to separating properly, or to commit to being around and trying to work it out. He says now there is no hope, nothing to talk about, but then why is he hesitating?
All I know right now is this situation is bad for me and the kids. They are badly affected, they never know when they will see him. And my work is being badly affected too.

Thanks guys x

I've broken the rules over time too. the trick is to know that you did, forgive yourself and keep going. You didn't do anything "bad" (like run over somebody or something). Continue to move forward with helping yourself be a happier, healthier you. help your kids too. I know mine are happier at the moment with W and I apart. Its hard for me to admit that I feel good too.

like I've been told, the only way through this is through it. continue to exercise (this saved me). find new hobbies or rekindle old ones. join a club or group that has people you can make friends with.

I was faced with giving in and filing for D last week. I found out some tings that are occurring in the background that are making it "dangerous" financially for the family for us to stay married. Part of me still hopes that things could still work someday, but I know that we are both unhealthy at the moment.

Like cadet tells most people, "your spouse has given you the gift of time...use it wisely...."