Heather, I'm glad you were able to get some things done yesterday. I see where you get your anxiety from if your mother is the same way. You've got to step back and breathe when things get a bit too much.
As for your h hating your daughter...no, I don't believe that at all. Maybe he sees his reflection in her, i.e., in his younger days he may have been a lot like her. I have said it before on this forum that when they are depressed and mlcing, they tend to gravitate towards the child that will give them the less bit of trouble. Your oldest daughter has been on his case since day one and he can't deal w/that right now. Now, your youngest daughter is picking up some of that plain speak and he's eventually going to either stay less time or not come at all. They can't deal w/confrontation because it brings the guilt out in them and they hate it. They don't hate the people, they hate the confrontation and guilt. Again, no, he doesn't hate your oldest daughter. Until he thinks that she's settled down and will not "attack" him again verbally and w/attitude, he will avoid her. It may take years for them to heal the rift that this situation has caused or it may never happen at all...but it will depend upon the two of them to make it happen. I do believe in miracles and I do believe that at some point things will shift w/them.
All I can suggest is to pray on the subject and stay positive. Life does have a way of working things out in "her" own time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
