After posting on Brooklyn's thread, I just realized what I was hoping for yesterday with Smokey's text.
I've made all these changes and I'm so much further in detaching. I guess I was hoping the text was some sort of hidden message about his noticing/picking up on my detaching. Part of me was hoping that he was maybe missing me, missing the girls, realizing he was really losing all of us with his behavior.
Maybe it was silly assuming or expectations that are wayyy too high. IDK. I feel tears acknowledging it and, then, of course, there was the realization of how this disease/MLC/depression--whatever has such a hold on him that he is able to sacrifice the daughter we created and loved and adored. How? It's still a mystery to me. But, I'm not the only one in history to ask this same question. I know.
Going to take a bubble bath now.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
