Floatin down the mighty rivers of British Columbia

[LoisB]

Thanks guys,

I have had a really nice day. Back to status quo, which is good for me for today. No texts from Smokey.

D19 is sick. Feel so badly for her. She sounds horrible.

I finished my latest tech writing project. I took my time and did a nice job. I'm beginning to understand this stuff. I can see myself writing about this engineering stuff for other companies within the next six months.

Yes, Job, I did stand up for myself with my mom. I was kinda harsh actually. I just felt frustrated. Jeez. I wanted to go on vacation and I was going to pay for myself and D11. My sis and my mom are the ones who decided my mom would stay with me and it's not my problem if I don't have the deposit on their time frame. Sorry, but it is what it is.

I'm beginning to see how mom is such a worry freak. Kinda surprising to me. She has a lot of anxiety about stuff that I don't sweat about. It drives me a little batty. Maybe because I've been dealing with the big issues so often that the little stuff doesn't bother me as much. She's worried we won't be able to find a place to stay, but there are like three other cottages available. It will all work out.

I talked to my sister. I think we are all good. I need to get some things off my chest and I plan on doing so, nicely, on vacation. But, mainly I plan to have fun!!!! :-)

This morning was pretty cool. I found myself texting the forester, another nice man (knows the situation completely) from the dating site, my sis, my D19 and was receiving these emails from interested men on eharmony--all while I was writing my story. Fun!

I also worked out. I worked out hard. I'm feeling some motivation to look a lot better in these dating site pics. I see there is a better class of men I would like to attract.

And, my bookkeeper and I are working on the dissolution stuff this week. Not looking forward to it, but I'm doing it.

I suppose I will hear from Smokey this week.

I guess there was a part of me hoping he was interacting with me because he was...whatever. Expectations. I worked some anger out in my workout today. It helped. Strange thing...Yesterday, before the text, I was thinking how I was beginning to feel some forgiveness and hoping he would actually find some happiness. I just hurt for my kids. I hate for my kids to feel similar pain of the rejection--from their dad. And, I worry how this will impact D19 in her relationships with men. Smokey, on the surface, really hates her. He despises his daughter.