Honey, you're not being an idiot, but being Melissa with all of your emotions being bashed left and right by H. What you can do is unhitch yourself from H's wagon. Otherwise, you'll be dragged all over the place like a ragged doll.
Disenage from H for a while and let the emotions cool down. Right now in the filing, separation, talking things to the kids, financials have stirred up all sorts of emotions on both sides. This does not necessarily make H the evil one. H is just operating from fear so his texts are all over the place and pushing all of your buttons like an Otis elevator.
There'll be a time when all of this will fade away into the distance and you'll both will learn by trial and error to co-parent effetively that works for all of you.
