Won't stop affair. Wants divorce now.

[25yearsmlc]

I understand what you mean, L...but please, make sure you do NOT cut off your d.

Learn a way to "handle" what your says or throws at you but make sure you DO talk to your d.

It's hard enough for your d to "know" her father when she rarely sees him, it'll be easy to forget you if you cut her out totally.

my h and I were sep almost 2 years but not without any contact, however. We'd see him every few weeks AND they were older than your d, and we had lived as a family for several years at the time. They knew him well enough to miss him.

But it takes a toll on the kids & their r's with their dad.

They learn to get their own lives, their own friends and even in normal healthy happy families, at some point your d's friends will take over HER life.

AND, young kids learn to take the father's absence as a rejection of them...which fuels the disconnect and resentment they will feel for an absentee father. I know this from experience.

Sure, her growing into the teen years seems far away to you now. But time passes...and the distance between you and your w/d, has already taken a toll.
Your m may well end b/c of the distance and strain that puts on a m. As Sandi said, marriages take nurturing, which is simply NOT achievable over time, and with such a distance. At least not without tremendous long term consistent effort and even then, only if you KNOW there's an end in sight.

My h was deployed overseas for several months and it was hard to reach him. HE had to initiate contact or we would not be able to communicate. He missed a lot. But at least it was not his choice to go...we had already been thru that and the kids were deeply wounded. More than I even knew...

Your d is very young. Stay in her life no matter what.

You'll never regret doing right by your daughter.