melissa - getting stronger!!

[melissag]

More rude text messages from my H today. I told him it is difficult to communicate when his texts are so hateful. He said it is my fault bc I made him angry by not explaining myself to him, leaving him to assume the worst.

(There are so many things wrong with that sentence, aren't there?)

So stupidly (wanting to be the one to try for the sake of friendly co-parenting), I asked what it was he wanted to know. He said,

"Why did you betray my trust by hiring the most aggressive D lawyer in town to file a petition without telling me about it first?"

I decided I am done with this. I really am. I don't know if this is bad DBing, but I said,

"That's not a question. That's an accusation. I am sorry you feel angry when I don't respond to you, but I won't accept being treated with disrespect."

So I got a whole mess of texts telling me that I don't deserve respect bc I don't act with respect, and I don't take responsibility for anything, and that if I don't own it I better not complain about him being mad about it. That I should want to communicate with him because I don't want him to be pissed off. (?!) Or I don't communicate with him because I want to piss him off, or leave him to assume the worst.

I am overwhelmed with the prospect of having to deal with this for the rest of my life.
(And maybe a little bit glad that I only have to deal with it as his ex wife and not his wife, now that I think about it.)

I can tell him to contact me only about the kids, but even that is laced with hate and sarcasm. Do I just ignore the fact that he is rude and disrespectful, and answer whatever the question is (assuming it needs one)?

My MO lately has been to ignore anything rude, and answer only respectful communications. Not sure what to do when it has something to do with the kids, though.

Also, he asked me for my login info for my Amex card. I don't want to give it to him because I don't trust him to have admin authority on my account (if he decided to be a real dick he could cancel the account with that access). I told him he could call to find out whatever information he needs. He said no, he wants to see MY statement (if he calls, they will only tell him information about his card and spending). And he's being rude about it.

I can't decide whether to email him the statement (at this point, I am pretty sure he is just going to go through and rag on me for whatever is on it) or just tell him to talk to my lawyer. I don't want to start sh!t, but I am tired of being attacked.