melissa - getting stronger!!

[paul19510]

I can choose whether to interpret it and respond to it as though it's neutral, yes.

I thought about it, and decided that whether it was neutral or not, it didn't require a response.

I'm definitely still trying to find the balance. For a long while, I gave my H the benefit of the doubt when interpreting his words and actions. Then, over time, the evidence built up and it became clear that I had given him too much credit, and that doing so hurt me.

He has shown me that, at the moment, he is extremely self-serving, with no regard to the consequences to others. (Well, at least, the consequences to me, and potentially my children.) So I have to keep that in mind when dealing with him.

So true. I am finding this also. I am trying hard to just detach and move on. From what I've been told (and I'm a few weeks behind you on this one) W never intended to stay married and my heartache and wanting to fix this, was not shared. Although, she never let me see that. She let me continue to believe that there was something that could be done...there really wasn't